My Goodnight To You
by m
Tonight, this night, suddenly and all at once, there is nothing left to say that I haven’t already said to you in my head at least a thousand times
and there is no more drifting off with this thought, ‘he wants to put his hands on me,’ and then, such a short time later, sweet nothings say nothing mean nothing more than the moments they lived in and when will we ever get a chance to just smile at each other again, all chit-chat scrapped, all grasping wanting flushing flighting soft-spoken broken down skin to skin kiss to kiss refreshment pushed aside, refreshment you don’t find in me, my bright spot, still going up and down stairs all day in my head
and this is us at the end of a beginning that never came to being what it was or is or ever can be until there is nothing left to say except this goodnight, goodnight, with children tucked away tight, and writing all that’s left of me and you and us and then I see again what we are what we have been: all that is right and good in the world and some/day will end again with the best good/night ever; until then…
