has taken me further than I ever imagined possible, and even now, I just sit at a new beginning, again.

It’s been a wild ride, not without it’s twists and hairpin turns, a few crashes, a few fated  fatalities of long-held notions, and it’s not always been a smooth ride, but this bus has finally arrived at this magic place.

Come join me there.

Let’s continue our journey to creating a new paradise right here on earth, in this life, in this moment, right now.

Thank you for sharing a piece of your life, your heart, with me.

We are flowing together, even now.
You breathe me in, I breathe you out.

I have found my new beginning in the most unlikely place:

in the still that is my heart
in between
it’s beats of your name
on my lips…

it’s breath, in between
each whisper of “thank you for this you”
I still know full on -
even as a new fall fast approaches,
and the absence of you
unhinges my heart
every new moment I breathe in
all over again.

Who knew love could look like this?
Who knew love could flow this long from Source without return,
could soar to these heights without limits,
could reignite without warning or even instigation?

Who new the World wanted me to love you this much?

Who knew the World wanted me to live you this much?

Soundtrack: Dark Paradise- Lana del Ray

even now.

All that ever was, will be, is, could have been…

All at once, converged, in signs, conspiring

to bring you back, full on, into my heart,

even now.

How is it you can be everywhere all at once,

and yet, I can not touch you?

There is nothing more than that which was in between you and i.

That is all there is, and more and more of the same…

So long gone now, yet, always here, always inside me.

I’ve given up asking, or trying to figure out the “what” of it….

now, I just accept the magic, the transformative feeling when it enters me,

I let it wash over me, wipe the slate of my heart clear, and renew me with it’s passion and fire.

I get it completely: the why of it, now…

It is the only way you feel alive again,

it’s in the kisses, the heart beats, the steamy skin, the anticipation, the heat…

it’s in that instant of seeing, connecting with that most primal lust, that transcends time and space -

that makes you feel again – it’s that overwhelm, that flush, in the fusion of limbs and lips,

that energy that overtakes, moves you forward, gives you the gift of immortality, if only in that moment…

that plays out again and again, anew.

It’s a beautiful thing.

And I am glad to have shared a piece of it with you, to have experienced a piece of it in myself…

And I am washed over, again and again, in the strangest moments, with the feeling of those memories:

being alive, with you…

skin to skin, alive. heart to heart. alive. eye to eye, alive.

Yes, I say. I could not have lived with out it.

(In that, you are all and in every way right.)

More, please, Universe. More, please.

Let me feel all of life all at once again.

Inspired, again, this is what I say to you:

“I carry you with me into the world, into the smell of the rain and the words that dance between people and for me, it will always be this way, walking in the light, remembering being alive together.”

and

“I wish you could have been there for the sun and the rain and the long hard hills. For the sound of a thousand conversations scattered along the road. For the people laughing anf crying and remembering at the end. But, mainly, I wish you could have been there.”

- Storypeople

 

Writing is my heart and I stopped writing when I found I could not write without reference to you,
without mentioning you, conjuring you up, thinking of you, wanting you, feeling you inside of me…

I stopped writing because I thought somehow, mistakenly, I needed to “let you go”…
I thought I was causing you harm simply by remembering, still feeling…
then I thought I was causing myself harm,
then I thought I was causing the world harm…

Now I know: love harms no one.
Love is simple, kind.
Love is feeling, full, lush, magical.

Love is not something to be afraid of, and it is not something to hide.
Love is not something to bottle up and keep to yourself -
I have to give my love away…
infused with Us, you and I, I am inspired…
I love, because of Us, not despite us.
I love because of what we touched, knew, saw, were… in those moments together…
and while those moments have passed,
the love remains,

There is no other way to say it.

The love remains.

And:

Love Is Enough.

And guess what?

I shine with love.