Bus 9 To Paradise

a tribute to beauty, truth, love, and following your bliss…


goodbye and goodbye and goodbye forever and ever and ever and never and always, goodbye, my never-ending ending…




Come To This Magic Place

My wonderful journey, begun online here…with a spark and a magical moment of grace to fan the flames …

has taken me further than I ever imagined possible, and even now, I just sit at a new beginning, again.

It’s been a wild ride, not without it’s twists and hairpin turns, a few crashes, a few fated  fatalities of long-held notions, and it’s not always been a smooth ride, but this bus has finally arrived at this magic place.

Come join me there.

Let’s continue our journey to creating a new paradise right here on earth, in this life, in this moment, right now.


Thank you for sharing a piece of your life, your heart, with me.


Fall Crisp

I am alive with love.
The life you reignited in me overflows,
I am
with this Love.
Beginnings again where most see ending…
The crisp of autumn is in the air,
I am autumn,
I am

We are flowing together, even now.
You breathe me in, I breathe you out.

I have found my new beginning in the most unlikely place:

in the still that is my heart
in between
it’s beats of your name
on my lips…

it’s breath, in between
each whisper of “thank you for this you”
I still know full on –
even as a new fall fast approaches,
and the absence of you
unhinges my heart
every new moment I breathe in
all over again.

Who knew love could look like this?
Who knew love could flow this long from Source without return,
could soar to these heights without limits,
could reignite without warning or even instigation?

Who new the World wanted me to love you this much?

Who knew the World wanted me to live you this much?

A Love Like This:

I full on feel it all.
Time is nothing.
This is All there ever was, ever will be, all at once. No past, no future. No beginning, no end.
I am love.
I am love.


Soundtrack: Dark Paradise- Lana del Ray


You’re all around me,

even now.

All that ever was, will be, is, could have been…

All at once, converged, in signs, conspiring

to bring you back, full on, into my heart,

even now.

How is it you can be everywhere all at once,

and yet, I can not touch you?

A Full Moon

and I love your smile…

There is nothing more than that which was in between you and i.

That is all there is, and more and more of the same…


So long gone now, yet, always here, always inside me.


What It Is…

I don’t know what it is…

I’ve given up asking, or trying to figure out the “what” of it….

now, I just accept the magic, the transformative feeling when it enters me,

I let it wash over me, wipe the slate of my heart clear, and renew me with it’s passion and fire.


I get it completely: the why of it, now…

It is the only way you feel alive again,

it’s in the kisses, the heart beats, the steamy skin, the anticipation, the heat…

it’s in that instant of seeing, connecting with that most primal lust, that transcends time and space –

that makes you feel again – it’s that overwhelm, that flush, in the fusion of limbs and lips,

that energy that overtakes, moves you forward, gives you the gift of immortality, if only in that moment…


that plays out again and again, anew.


It’s a beautiful thing.


And I am glad to have shared a piece of it with you, to have experienced a piece of it in myself…

And I am washed over, again and again, in the strangest moments, with the feeling of those memories:

being alive, with you…

skin to skin, alive. heart to heart. alive. eye to eye, alive.

Yes, I say. I could not have lived with out it.

(In that, you are all and in every way right.)

More, please, Universe. More, please.

Let me feel all of life all at once again.

I Want To Thank You

…for giving me the best day of my life (so far…)


Inspired, again, this is what I say to you:

“I carry you with me into the world, into the smell of the rain and the words that dance between people and for me, it will always be this way, walking in the light, remembering being alive together.”


“I wish you could have been there for the sun and the rain and the long hard hills. For the sound of a thousand conversations scattered along the road. For the people laughing anf crying and remembering at the end. But, mainly, I wish you could have been there.”



The Love Remains

I stopped writing for you.

Writing is my heart and I stopped writing when I found I could not write without reference to you,
without mentioning you, conjuring you up, thinking of you, wanting you, feeling you inside of me…

I stopped writing because I thought somehow, mistakenly, I needed to “let you go”…
I thought I was causing you harm simply by remembering, still feeling…
then I thought I was causing myself harm,
then I thought I was causing the world harm…

Now I know: love harms no one.
Love is simple, kind.
Love is feeling, full, lush, magical.

Love is not something to be afraid of, and it is not something to hide.
Love is not something to bottle up and keep to yourself –
I have to give my love away…
infused with Us, you and I, I am inspired…
I love, because of Us, not despite us.
I love because of what we touched, knew, saw, were… in those moments together…
and while those moments have passed,
the love remains,

There is no other way to say it.

The love remains.

Love Always Holds It’s Place.

Love Never Ends.


Love Is Enough.

And guess what?

I shine with love.




The Secret…

(no, not that one!)

Life Of Your Dreams



The Day Without Words…

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A Start….

to something new.

Not certain yet what it is, but today saw the first sprout pushing up, seeds planted long ago…

it’s a mystery what is to come next…

after strawberry picking


Until then…


gratitude grows everything



this love burns strong in me, fueling my blue fire along, and I follow my heart as best I can, remind myself to breathe in the beauty all around me, and find my way back to *this* moment of grace…


this moment of grace


When You Appear

I say: thank you for your presence sir, I shall right this moment feel gratitude for the passion that we shared, that is still within, and create with it, right now…

I shall allow delight in this very moment, in the form that it is present…

…and I remember now and again and again to use this vast love and joy to create from…using my past to accept the invitation of the future to live fully in the now…

And I think in your own way, you are a reminder to me to live my own passionate truth…which you touched, brought out in me, helped me to access and connect with and express fully…

we learn best and receive best from those whom we love…


Two….for Three –



“Cause words can be like weapons, oh when you use them you regret them
Oh, but I’m not gonna let them, take away my heaven
And when I start feeling blue, I remember to tell myself to

Think good thoughts, think good thoughts
Imagine what the world would be if we will, we would just
Think good thoughts and starve the bad from feeding
Oh won’t let the negativity turn me into my enemy
Promise to myself that I won’t let it get the best of me
That’s how I want to be…”



“I won’t do what you told me
I won’t do what you said, no
I’m not gonna stop feeling
I’m not gonna forget it

I don’t wanna start over
I don’t wanna pretend that you are not my lover
That you’re only my friend

‘Cause when you took my heart you took it all
When you gave it back it feel apart so

I’m not gonna stop feeling…I’m not gonna forget…

Well, maybe you’re not right for me
Maybe it’s just hard to see
I get lost in your beauty
Then I just start questioning…

You say it’s easier to burn than to build
You say it’s easier to hurt than to heal
But I say you lose when you give up what you love
And I’ve lived my life without you long enough so…

I’m not gonna stop feeling…I’m not gonna forget…



“If that’s the way you love, you’ve got to learn so much
If that’s the way you say goodbye
Then this is how it ends and I’m alright with it
You’re never gonna see me cry, ’cause I’ve cried

So go on, go on and break my heart
I’ll be okay, there’s nothing you can do to me
That’s ever gonna bury me

So go on, go on and leave, my love
Out on the street, I’m fearless
Better believe I’m fearless, fearless

If this is how it hurts it couldn’t get much worse
If this is how it feels to fall
Then that’s the way it is, we live with what we miss
We learn to build another wall till it falls

So go on, go on and break my heart
I’ll be okay, there’s nothing you can do to me
That’s ever gonna bury me

So go on, go on and leave, my love
Out on the street, I’m fearless
Better believe I’m fearless, fearless

If it’s between love and losing
And to never have known the feeling, I’d still side with love
And if I end up lonely, at least I will be there knowing… I believe in love…”


The Seventeenth of June

This day in June, the seventeenth:


How do you remember this day?

This last shining, unknown as a last until long after it had passed us by?

I just remember a light shining from my eyes to light up the world. I remember two souls so on fire, it seemed the sun was powered by us alone. I remember the touch of last minute bliss seemed such a perfect gift from the world. And later, only much later, did I realize what a gift this last hour of bliss had been.

And ever after I remain more grateful for it and every moment leading up to it than words will ever express.

That is my seventeenth of June.

Grateful For What Remains…

Grateful For What Remains

A picture for a thought, shared here, from a favorite source for inspiration and personal growth:

How will we interpret loss?

Is this not true for all of us?

Some of our dreams come true, others do not; some people stay close, others move away; some get sick and then better — while others wither and die. Some people we love remain faithful and loving our whole lives, while others abandon or betray us. Relationships and friendships come and go, businesses succeed and fail, fortunes rise and fall, people we love will die, and we will grow old, get sick, and die. As William Stafford says, “Nothing we do can stop time’s unfolding.” In that inevitable, excruciatingly human moment, we are offered a powerful choice…;

Will we interpret this loss as so unjust, unfair, and devastating that we feel punished, angry, forever and fatally wounded — or, as our heart, torn apart, bleeds its anguish of sheer wordless grief, will we somehow feel this loss as an opportunity for our hearts to become more tender, more open, more passionately alive, more grateful for what remains?

(A passage from Wayne Muller’s A Life of Being, Having, and Doing Enough.)”

(Bolding, mine.)

Beautiful Day


All I Know

Today love washed upon me like a wave, an aftershock, soaked to the bone, delighting in radiant expression only after the moment passed, like a flicker of knowing, half-smile, shy awakening to a brand new refreshment. The knowing comes on strong in the space between clarity and ease…
Even when there is uncertainty and fear, peace comes in a close of the eyes, a brief thank you to the sun for warming skin touched once so meaningfully. Even as just one somebody in a throng of bodies, warmth rushes to my heart and radiates out from the light that glows when it is only we two who exist in all the chaos surrounding our lives. I touch knowing in passing and wonder, is all that knowing trapped inside a heart that longs to touch again, just so, my expression can know no bounds? Your expression knows no bounds and you shine mid-day bright with it. I smile just know the touch of your mid-day sun- my skin burned, scorched, salved, and tender to any new touch since, while my expression is awakening to the dawn inside me and like the morning sun, filters ever so gently out of soft eyes, into the hearts of all who wake early to feel the strength build to its full strength and power. You express that shining power in your stature and stance. I flow, softly opening, toward an awakening that I can feel happening outside of this body of mine. While the glow radiates inside me, I, half-trust my own shining now.

I am in love.

I am in love.

with that girl walking by,
with the stylish look of her casual dress,

with the three older men who were sitting outside chatting,
without a hurried word between them,

with the sun that is shining down and warming my shoulders
like your touch has warmed me… I can feel you now.

I am in love.

with the way my heart pounds when I even so much as think
of you, with the tenderness I feel toward you in the moments
I remember your eyes gazing into mine, intently…and ever so intensely.

I am not exactly in love with this spider crawling toward me
or the choices you have made in your life or all the choices I have made
for that matter, though all that really matters is that when I think of you,


I am in love, all over again.

No one can tell me that was a mistake, is a mistake, or will ever be a mistake.